Solutions orientated, NOT problems orientated

The title is a clear indication of how my mentality will be like, from now onwards. I have hit rockbottom on so many levels that I am scared to find out how far I can go.

It hurts too much to even think about what my life will be like if I continue in the manner described in some of these posts.

I will not posts any more problems as I know what they all are now. I am focused on solutions only.My aim is to keep an ongoing routine so I can internalise this behaviour.

As most of my problems are down to a poor understanding of financial management and bad time management, I will focus on these two areas solely, for now.

TIME MANAGEMENT

Atrocious time management has landed me in quite a lot of shit in recent times and thus left me in the position I'm currently in. I have been told this from day one and its gone in one ear and well, you know the rest. Now let's look at some options and how I am incorporating these to my life.

Morning routine

I am cutting the time I spend on this considerably. That will only come from having a goal to strive towards which will create a sense of urgency. My current time spent on grooming/getting dressed and eating is ridiculous. It is currently at 2 hours. NOT EVEN A FUCKING WOMAN SPENDS THIS AMOUNT OF TIME. Absofuckinglutely ridiculous!!!! No more!!!

I am aiming to get ready in 30 minutes every morning, when I do hit this consistently I will reduce it to 20 minutes. YES I said it!! 20 minutes. To other people this is simple but a world class bum like meself considers this no measly feat. I will break down the different areas to the minute details so I can get on top of this. I will also post a max amount of time spent on each in order to reach my goal.

Wake Up
I wonder around, doing nothing but wondering. I usually spend an obscene amount of time on this; 10 minutes to be precise. I will now upon waking up drink a glass of water, which should stop some of the grooming problems like chapped lips, I will then walk straight to the toilet. Max amount of time: 1 minute

Dental Hygiene/Face/Showering/Grooming
Recently I have been spending an insane amount of time on brushing my teeth/ cleaning my tongue and flossing; 40 minutes. WHO THE FUCK BRUSHES THEIR TEETH FOR 40 minutes!?!?!?. This is insanity and is borderline OCDish.

I am purchasing a decent toothbrush (electronic), preferably those Oral B ones when I do get me finances correct but will settle for a battery powered one (£5) in the meanwhile. I am also purchasing some waxed floss and a tongue scraper. Mouth wash is uneccessary if I get the aforementioned under control.

My face is a big fucking problem for me. I went from a promising basketballer to a shy, socially awkward dude because of my interpretation of acne. I know I know, I should have listened to my father. Instead I was hard-headed and as a result I am writing this gentle abode to a once miserable experience. I have accepted that this problem is part of growing pains but also a reckless lifestyle.

I am going into the shower with my toothbrush as I wish to stop relying on mirrors and also minimise the time I spend on useless activities such as running around looking at myself. I will brush my teeth first, then gently scrape the sides/front/back of tongue (this will require a mirror at first but then with practice I will eliminate the mirror (also minimise gagging so as not to cause red eyes and vomit breath). I am then going to wash my face with tea tree oil and exfoliate with a soft-bristle toothbrush.

I am then going to wash my hair (shampoo 3 times a week with T-gel to eliminate dandruff and condition twice), I then move onto my armpits, then a quick skin scrub with the loofa, then the balls, then the arse and finally the feet. A quick body rinse will end it. Step out!!.

Pop any unlikely white heads. Shave (depends on my hairstyle) Apply facial toner then apply oil-free moisturiser to face/neck/ears. Apply body-moisturiser (shea butter preferably but coco butter will suffice). Apply Evo-cream onto dry infected skin rashes (This problem will eventually subside so this is not a permanent feature of my grooming routine.). Apply perfume. GET DRESSED.

Max time: 10 mins!!

Preparing and Eating Food
As I mentioned my skin is horrid, so I will need to get this sorted first. Now, onto solutions. I am cleaning up my diet/fitness/sleep. 8hrs a sleep per day without fail. Gym 3-4 every week plus 2 sessions of muay thai and jiu jitsu. 2 litres of water daily. Committing to a gluten-free /wheat free diet with fruits in the morning and vegetables with every meal. I am researching suitable diets which will help me achieve my fitness goals. I will prepare my meals the night before to save me time. Max time: 5 minutes!!

Briefing
Ensure EVERYTHING is in order from my appearance, hydration levels, tasks for the day, appropriate tools (uni books/work gear/gym gear).

SUMMARY

Wakeup and Drink water- 1minute
Dental hygiene,Grooming, Shower and Dressing- 1ominutes
Preparing and eating Food-5 minutes
Briefing-5 minutes

TOTAL: 16-17MINUTES


“Be pleasant until ten o'clock in the morning and the rest of the day will take care of itself.”

Elbert Hubbard (1856-1915)

Annoying receptionist and my other pet peeves

I dealt with a particularly bitchy receptionist today. STOP!!!

No, what actually happened was that I was particularly bitchy to a receptionist. Firstly, I have not the faintest idea about social cues and well, basic fucking manners. This isn't a self-hatred type of post, however, it brings to light the method in which I deal with most of life. If things don't go my way, I get spiteful which for a lack of better word also renders into the downright childish sometimes.

Today I spoke with a friendly receptionist and by friendly I mean not a complete bitch, only stern.
She was a prototype of someone who hates her fucking job and the people she works with. Indian of course, however this is not to say that her heritage and ethnicity has anything to do with her bitchyness. I enquired about a basic interview set-up with her manager, Mr. Amar.

To this request she gave the standard issue, 'Hand in your CV and if he likes it he will call you back'. Now, to say my CV is substandard is a HUGE overstatement. I've hardly had any callbacks based off of that CV. I've made several adjustments, however, I've failed to garner an interest. That is not to say my search has been fruitless, I have had a few interviews, however, the first impressions have usually been awkward and downright bizarre.

From profuse sweating to stripping off clothing it may get weirder than that but really not much weirder. I've discussed a few of my previous job interviews but I would like to delve into what the universal requirements are for a job candidate based off of my own experience.

Number one rule. First impressions Last.
They set the frame for the rest of the convo. Now this may be a social construct in which you are the selectee and they are the selector, however you can apply rules learned from social interations to these contexts. Let's break it down.

Apperance

This is so KEY, its fucking unbelievable the amount of times ive gone to job interviews and I have been very out of place. At Uniqlo, my appearance was shabby, I was sweating profusely and had paranoia about my breath. I also had not slept enough the night before, 3 hours to be precise. They say you should be fuckworthy before stepping out of the house, ALWAYS, but clearly I had ignored this basic rule.

I had prepared very little the night before

-Very brief information about the company and its rules as to dress code and their usual employee. I had dressed very inappropriate in fact it was atrocious in terms of basic style. I wore a red, short sleeve, tight checkered shirt with stonewashed Levi's jeans and a pair of brown, two tone Hudson brouges. Terrible style. A usual Uniqlo employee is dressed in the typical student attire. Skinnies or straight-legged jeans, a pair of plimsols or other canvas type trainer (vans, converse, adidas etc.), plain tee/graphic tee (loose fitting/tight/deep v-neck/u-neck/elbow length/shoulder length), cardigan/hoodie/jumper/vest, beanie/cool hair.

This should have been apparent to me beforehand and is something to keep in mind. Perhaps a basic conversation about how the employee got the job would help me get a better understanding of what is required for that job. This basic initial research would improve my chances of getting at least a second interview. I will do this from now on.

I am aware that my basic dress code is decent because I have a intuitive understanding of what clothes work and do not. This was developed through hanging around the typical black 'sweet boyz' which has been incredible vital in me knowing what trends are on and what trends are off. I am now moving away from that an trying to delve into sexual stereotypes and applying very intricate methods of dressing in order to get some poontang. As they say anything 'sexual and cool will sell'. Ignoring these basic things have left me unemployed and thus more miserable because I am unable to accomplish my other goals.

-No regards to grooming- I looked very tired, my eyes were red and my lips were heavily chapped by this recurrent thing I'd like to call Seborrhoeic dermatitis, quite a mouthful really but whatever.

My recurrent red puffy eyes are due to a bad diet, vampire sleeping hours, gagging on my toothbrush when trying to brush my tongue.

My bad skin is also due to a bad diet, picking on/rubbing roughly on/ no grooming routine.

My bad breath is caused by eating stinky foods (fast food/onion/cheese/milk/sweets), smoking da piff, and not maintaining a steady routine of brushing my teeth upon waking up, after eating a meal and before sleeping. My bad breath is also caused by not flossing properly and using cheap toothbrushes and no mouthwash (i.e. retardex).

My yellow teeth are there because of no dental cleanse/teeth whitening and eating stinky foods then sleeping without killing all the dead shit out of your mouth.

My chapped lips are caused by dehydration/moisture levels constantly changing due to heaters and the cold. I also have a layer of crust on the corners of mouth, lips and also on the top of my lips. I also have not found a satisfactory lip balm that would make my lips more manageable.

I tend to go for safe options such as fully grown stubble, or clean shaven (which looks horrid unless I have all of the above dealt with).

My recent hairstyles have been very safe i.e. one level. This has resulted in me looking like a cliche black dude. The mohican is currently being raped left, right and centre. It's simply overkill. Mind you, I'd done this look a few months back when it was not as hot or popular. I got great responses and felt fucking amazing. The second time getting this haircut, I got a job, had a decent social life and was on my way to gaining a better social life. However this haircut is too obvious and I want to move away from such things.

I sweat badly, especially when heat levels change. It's down to a number of reasons; a bad diet, running out of the shower too quickly, not being as physically fit as I once was, and generally being very nervous.

Demeanour

Depending on where you work, the level of your enthusiasm drops or increases. Due to all of the above problems, I was a mess upon entering the building. I had not gotten the above right so I was in my mind and as a result I did not get the job. Let's break down where I went wrong.

Calm- I was very nervous when I entered as I mentioned above. I'd arrived on time when in reality I should have followed the tried and tested method of 'always arrive 15 mins early'. Simply terrible.

Friendly- I did not converse with any of the people around me and did not smile. Considering I have a naturally gaunt/pissed off expression on my face this really did not help. My eye contact was very poor. I did not take the key opportunities presented to me. Making my presence known. Chatting with a number of people. I dismissed alot of ideas in situations when group work and contribution was key. I was not proactive in other words.

Ambitious- I did not use my initiative to make myself heard. I missed out on a number of key opportunities to really voice my opinion on topics I knew about. Even if they were wrong, I feared rejection and thus was rejected.

State- Had I made an effort to conversate with the people around me, I would have been in a better mood and therefore more chatty which would have resulted in me making more contributions.


Body language- In a key exercise which really would have taken me to the next level, I did not make use of my height and size (I was getting quite buff at the time :P). The group gathered in a circle and I say the group because I was not apart of it from a visual perspective. They had placed an A4 piece of paper on a tiny table (which was obviously intended to show team work skills), I placed myself on the wrong side of the room. I was right behind what looked to be the alpha in the group ( a girl...lol...and a short one at that).

As she was orchestrating most of the stuff going on, I could sense my presence in the group was being ignored more and more. I was clearly not apart of the group. I made some contributions but it was too little too late. I was rude to one dude who wanted to add some alterations to the drawings made by dismissing his idea as silly. Really weak shit. Never again in my life will I subject myself to such awkward behaviour.



Now that I have stated the problems with my job interview approach. Let's look at some solutions as this is the mentality of a successful person.

I will post this in my next post which will be well...right about now..LOL

22....who will I be this year?

Well...

It's the first week of the new year and something amazing has happened to me. I am more optimistic than I have ever been. I have a number of experiences that I'd like to write about.
Let's start from my Bday onwards as that is the point when I really feel I had a major paradigm shift. I had been hanging with Denis for the majority of that week and it had been very amusing to say the least. I learned alot of new things that I had never known about Denis i.e. that he is a deeply devout Christian although not orthodox but more of a evangelist and that he is very intelligent.

I mean do not get me wrong I always knew he was intelligent but hanging around with him for more than a day which I had never done, really showed me how ambitious this dude is. Another interesting thing occured when I found out about his relationship with his parents and the reason for he wanted independence at such an early age. I also developed a deeper bond with Denis which I really appreciate as he is a good influence for me.

I had also realised something major about another person in my life, namely Syed Zeeshan, who btw is the textbook nice guy. He really is an amazing friend in terms of being courteous and polite. However he really lacks in confidence and is extremely stifled which is mostly due to a number of insecurities- his looks, his virginity and inability to talk to women. Aside from these setbacks, he has a number of things going for him; he is financially stable and is extremely resourceful.

The big problem he has is.....wait for it..........a lack of COJOLES/BRASS BALLS. I have the same problem and can easily recognise this, not that it requires any skill. He is apparently incapable of pushing past his comfort zone socially and is therefore stiffled. His body language is good although he has a terrible tendency to look at me strangely almost with a sneer and an air of disgust. It is really quite something. Despite this, he is a really sensible chap with a good heart but he is not a 'natural' as they say in the community.

These two people really gave a shit about me this year although, bdays are not really a big deal at this age. To be quite honest, I am unbelievably young and have yet to experience alot and have formulated much of my reality based on what I have read on some forums. It really pisses me off how inexperienced I am but you live and you learn.

So.....onto these last 10 days that have gone.

I started a little experiment in getting up early i.e. before 6am everyday and boy did it provide me with some newfound insights. NUMERO UNO, I realised how accustomed my body had become to sleeping late and what sleeping early had done. Basically I had tried the Steve Pavlina wake-up-at-the-same-time-everyday-but-sleep-when-you're-tired. Also, I had some interesting revelations about myself. I will list them one by one and elaborate on each.

Sleeping when you're tired

This was by far the most amazing 4 days in terms of the amount of time I had been in deep sleep. It was also the first time in months that I had consistently had dreams, night after night.
I also felt really energised when I woke up without an alarm clock before 6am, yes you read that right, I woke up daily at 5-5:40am without fail. The first day was the worst but it got progressively better and I really felt tired when the clock hit 10am. I literally could not hold my eyes open past 9:30pm.

Waking up at the same time daily

The reason I had chosen to wake up before 6am is that I had really felt deep in my heart that I had not woken up before sun rise in such a long time I had forgotten what it looked like. I also felt that I'd have longer days and thus more time to do things. My energy levels would also go up due to the improved sleeping patter.

What I did find was that I had felt an incredible high every single morning. Almost like I was on crack. It was amazing. I felt so energized and was more productive than usual. I applied for 4 jobs although I had aimed for 50..lol. Probably an unrealistic target but I thought I could achieve this. Truly, an amazing period of time. What I also found was that I had not been following a morning routine for the last 5 years but instead been going with motions.

I spend WAYYYYY too much time in the toilet just brushing my teeth which is mainly due to not brushing the night before; 30-40 mins, I spend too long showering, washing/exfoliating/aimlessly scrubbing at my face/occasionally shaving and moisturizing; 30 minutes.
To add to this I spend an incredible amount of time wandering around the bathroom and frequently looking at myself whilst brushing my teeth.

I haven't even gotten to dressing up, eating or working out yet and I have already spent 1 1/2 grooming aimlessly. The worst thing is that I do it so slow and mostly not in the order above. I then eat sometimes if I find the time and then finally after having been screamed at by my mother I finally get my ass out of the door.

This is a SERIOUS problem which has really affected my whole life and where I currently am. I will not go into what-ifs but I can assume from the little experiment that I did that I would not be where I am right now had I prepared a morning routine which was both time-efficient and effective.

However this is a new year and I will be another cliche and say my resolution for this year is to drastically improve the weak areas, currently all areas lol. Ranging from social life, health and finances. I am committed to leading a healthy lifestyle in terms of my diet, my workout regimen and my sleeping patterns. I am committed to becoming a more social person and also to improving my sex-life (No more porn!!!! unless for educational purposes lol). I am committed to getting a job which provides me with a suitable income to support my other interests and also provides me with a challenge on a continual basis.

The areas I will first handle are my social life and finances. I will maintain a steady workout regimen and a clean diet until I can find a job that will provide me with the capital to join a gym.
I am also joining a muay thai and jiu jitsu class. Luckily there is a fellow from the LSS who provides free jiu jitsu classes which will give me a taster. I am joining London Muay Thai by the end of this month. I also intend on gaining my undergraduate degree by may. I am also acquiring my driver's license before february and intend on gaining enough capital to get a car by May. I will move out of my mother's house by the end of February.

These are some initial goals which I will focus on for the meanwhile until I can get a steady routine established. I will then improve more areas.

This will be : THE BEST YEAR OF MY LIFE.

I am improving most of the areas of my life which most people have already sussed out and hopefully I can focus on bigger dreams once those are dealt with. My intention is to become a Hollywood actor and will hopefully implement a routine in order to gain that dream. I must get there without fail. I have contemplated whether or not to do this but then again hesitation is for the meek. I must be ballsy in order to achieve this dream.

It will take time and an incredible amount of grinding as I have been for a large amount of time a very introverted socially inept dude. However by the end of this year I shall join the theater and hopefully hone my craft. The reason why I wish to act is due to the symbolism of it. I wish to be an inspiration to others that anything truly is possible. I wish to be taken as a serious actor in terms of my range and versatility ala Johnny Depp or Brad Pitt. I do not want to be confined to a box. I will continually evolve.

The reason why I wish to partake in this dream is that I feel and know that I am destined for GREAT things. I will not settle for mediocrity as I am far too ambitious for that. I have one go at this merry go round and intend on making it the best fucking life I can possibly lead. I have continually given up on things my whole life and do not intend on doing so from now onwards.
I have changed my innergame and feel more at peace with myself. However I have much to do still and will continue until my dying breath.

This is the time for change.






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