Annoying receptionist and my other pet peeves

I dealt with a particularly bitchy receptionist today. STOP!!!

No, what actually happened was that I was particularly bitchy to a receptionist. Firstly, I have not the faintest idea about social cues and well, basic fucking manners. This isn't a self-hatred type of post, however, it brings to light the method in which I deal with most of life. If things don't go my way, I get spiteful which for a lack of better word also renders into the downright childish sometimes.

Today I spoke with a friendly receptionist and by friendly I mean not a complete bitch, only stern.
She was a prototype of someone who hates her fucking job and the people she works with. Indian of course, however this is not to say that her heritage and ethnicity has anything to do with her bitchyness. I enquired about a basic interview set-up with her manager, Mr. Amar.

To this request she gave the standard issue, 'Hand in your CV and if he likes it he will call you back'. Now, to say my CV is substandard is a HUGE overstatement. I've hardly had any callbacks based off of that CV. I've made several adjustments, however, I've failed to garner an interest. That is not to say my search has been fruitless, I have had a few interviews, however, the first impressions have usually been awkward and downright bizarre.

From profuse sweating to stripping off clothing it may get weirder than that but really not much weirder. I've discussed a few of my previous job interviews but I would like to delve into what the universal requirements are for a job candidate based off of my own experience.

Number one rule. First impressions Last.
They set the frame for the rest of the convo. Now this may be a social construct in which you are the selectee and they are the selector, however you can apply rules learned from social interations to these contexts. Let's break it down.

Apperance

This is so KEY, its fucking unbelievable the amount of times ive gone to job interviews and I have been very out of place. At Uniqlo, my appearance was shabby, I was sweating profusely and had paranoia about my breath. I also had not slept enough the night before, 3 hours to be precise. They say you should be fuckworthy before stepping out of the house, ALWAYS, but clearly I had ignored this basic rule.

I had prepared very little the night before

-Very brief information about the company and its rules as to dress code and their usual employee. I had dressed very inappropriate in fact it was atrocious in terms of basic style. I wore a red, short sleeve, tight checkered shirt with stonewashed Levi's jeans and a pair of brown, two tone Hudson brouges. Terrible style. A usual Uniqlo employee is dressed in the typical student attire. Skinnies or straight-legged jeans, a pair of plimsols or other canvas type trainer (vans, converse, adidas etc.), plain tee/graphic tee (loose fitting/tight/deep v-neck/u-neck/elbow length/shoulder length), cardigan/hoodie/jumper/vest, beanie/cool hair.

This should have been apparent to me beforehand and is something to keep in mind. Perhaps a basic conversation about how the employee got the job would help me get a better understanding of what is required for that job. This basic initial research would improve my chances of getting at least a second interview. I will do this from now on.

I am aware that my basic dress code is decent because I have a intuitive understanding of what clothes work and do not. This was developed through hanging around the typical black 'sweet boyz' which has been incredible vital in me knowing what trends are on and what trends are off. I am now moving away from that an trying to delve into sexual stereotypes and applying very intricate methods of dressing in order to get some poontang. As they say anything 'sexual and cool will sell'. Ignoring these basic things have left me unemployed and thus more miserable because I am unable to accomplish my other goals.

-No regards to grooming- I looked very tired, my eyes were red and my lips were heavily chapped by this recurrent thing I'd like to call Seborrhoeic dermatitis, quite a mouthful really but whatever.

My recurrent red puffy eyes are due to a bad diet, vampire sleeping hours, gagging on my toothbrush when trying to brush my tongue.

My bad skin is also due to a bad diet, picking on/rubbing roughly on/ no grooming routine.

My bad breath is caused by eating stinky foods (fast food/onion/cheese/milk/sweets), smoking da piff, and not maintaining a steady routine of brushing my teeth upon waking up, after eating a meal and before sleeping. My bad breath is also caused by not flossing properly and using cheap toothbrushes and no mouthwash (i.e. retardex).

My yellow teeth are there because of no dental cleanse/teeth whitening and eating stinky foods then sleeping without killing all the dead shit out of your mouth.

My chapped lips are caused by dehydration/moisture levels constantly changing due to heaters and the cold. I also have a layer of crust on the corners of mouth, lips and also on the top of my lips. I also have not found a satisfactory lip balm that would make my lips more manageable.

I tend to go for safe options such as fully grown stubble, or clean shaven (which looks horrid unless I have all of the above dealt with).

My recent hairstyles have been very safe i.e. one level. This has resulted in me looking like a cliche black dude. The mohican is currently being raped left, right and centre. It's simply overkill. Mind you, I'd done this look a few months back when it was not as hot or popular. I got great responses and felt fucking amazing. The second time getting this haircut, I got a job, had a decent social life and was on my way to gaining a better social life. However this haircut is too obvious and I want to move away from such things.

I sweat badly, especially when heat levels change. It's down to a number of reasons; a bad diet, running out of the shower too quickly, not being as physically fit as I once was, and generally being very nervous.

Demeanour

Depending on where you work, the level of your enthusiasm drops or increases. Due to all of the above problems, I was a mess upon entering the building. I had not gotten the above right so I was in my mind and as a result I did not get the job. Let's break down where I went wrong.

Calm- I was very nervous when I entered as I mentioned above. I'd arrived on time when in reality I should have followed the tried and tested method of 'always arrive 15 mins early'. Simply terrible.

Friendly- I did not converse with any of the people around me and did not smile. Considering I have a naturally gaunt/pissed off expression on my face this really did not help. My eye contact was very poor. I did not take the key opportunities presented to me. Making my presence known. Chatting with a number of people. I dismissed alot of ideas in situations when group work and contribution was key. I was not proactive in other words.

Ambitious- I did not use my initiative to make myself heard. I missed out on a number of key opportunities to really voice my opinion on topics I knew about. Even if they were wrong, I feared rejection and thus was rejected.

State- Had I made an effort to conversate with the people around me, I would have been in a better mood and therefore more chatty which would have resulted in me making more contributions.


Body language- In a key exercise which really would have taken me to the next level, I did not make use of my height and size (I was getting quite buff at the time :P). The group gathered in a circle and I say the group because I was not apart of it from a visual perspective. They had placed an A4 piece of paper on a tiny table (which was obviously intended to show team work skills), I placed myself on the wrong side of the room. I was right behind what looked to be the alpha in the group ( a girl...lol...and a short one at that).

As she was orchestrating most of the stuff going on, I could sense my presence in the group was being ignored more and more. I was clearly not apart of the group. I made some contributions but it was too little too late. I was rude to one dude who wanted to add some alterations to the drawings made by dismissing his idea as silly. Really weak shit. Never again in my life will I subject myself to such awkward behaviour.



Now that I have stated the problems with my job interview approach. Let's look at some solutions as this is the mentality of a successful person.

I will post this in my next post which will be well...right about now..LOL