Well...
It's the first week of the new year and something amazing has happened to me. I am more optimistic than I have ever been. I have a number of experiences that I'd like to write about.
Let's start from my Bday onwards as that is the point when I really feel I had a major paradigm shift. I had been hanging with Denis for the majority of that week and it had been very amusing to say the least. I learned alot of new things that I had never known about Denis i.e. that he is a deeply devout Christian although not orthodox but more of a evangelist and that he is very intelligent.
I mean do not get me wrong I always knew he was intelligent but hanging around with him for more than a day which I had never done, really showed me how ambitious this dude is. Another interesting thing occured when I found out about his relationship with his parents and the reason for he wanted independence at such an early age. I also developed a deeper bond with Denis which I really appreciate as he is a good influence for me.
I had also realised something major about another person in my life, namely Syed Zeeshan, who btw is the textbook nice guy. He really is an amazing friend in terms of being courteous and polite. However he really lacks in confidence and is extremely stifled which is mostly due to a number of insecurities- his looks, his virginity and inability to talk to women. Aside from these setbacks, he has a number of things going for him; he is financially stable and is extremely resourceful.
The big problem he has is.....wait for it..........a lack of COJOLES/BRASS BALLS. I have the same problem and can easily recognise this, not that it requires any skill. He is apparently incapable of pushing past his comfort zone socially and is therefore stiffled. His body language is good although he has a terrible tendency to look at me strangely almost with a sneer and an air of disgust. It is really quite something. Despite this, he is a really sensible chap with a good heart but he is not a 'natural' as they say in the community.
These two people really gave a shit about me this year although, bdays are not really a big deal at this age. To be quite honest, I am unbelievably young and have yet to experience alot and have formulated much of my reality based on what I have read on some forums. It really pisses me off how inexperienced I am but you live and you learn.
So.....onto these last 10 days that have gone.
I started a little experiment in getting up early i.e. before 6am everyday and boy did it provide me with some newfound insights. NUMERO UNO, I realised how accustomed my body had become to sleeping late and what sleeping early had done. Basically I had tried the Steve Pavlina wake-up-at-the-same-time-everyday-but-sleep-when-you're-tired. Also, I had some interesting revelations about myself. I will list them one by one and elaborate on each.
Sleeping when you're tired
This was by far the most amazing 4 days in terms of the amount of time I had been in deep sleep. It was also the first time in months that I had consistently had dreams, night after night.
I also felt really energised when I woke up without an alarm clock before 6am, yes you read that right, I woke up daily at 5-5:40am without fail. The first day was the worst but it got progressively better and I really felt tired when the clock hit 10am. I literally could not hold my eyes open past 9:30pm.
Waking up at the same time daily
The reason I had chosen to wake up before 6am is that I had really felt deep in my heart that I had not woken up before sun rise in such a long time I had forgotten what it looked like. I also felt that I'd have longer days and thus more time to do things. My energy levels would also go up due to the improved sleeping patter.
What I did find was that I had felt an incredible high every single morning. Almost like I was on crack. It was amazing. I felt so energized and was more productive than usual. I applied for 4 jobs although I had aimed for 50..lol. Probably an unrealistic target but I thought I could achieve this. Truly, an amazing period of time. What I also found was that I had not been following a morning routine for the last 5 years but instead been going with motions.
I spend WAYYYYY too much time in the toilet just brushing my teeth which is mainly due to not brushing the night before; 30-40 mins, I spend too long showering, washing/exfoliating/aimlessly scrubbing at my face/occasionally shaving and moisturizing; 30 minutes.
To add to this I spend an incredible amount of time wandering around the bathroom and frequently looking at myself whilst brushing my teeth.
I haven't even gotten to dressing up, eating or working out yet and I have already spent 1 1/2 grooming aimlessly. The worst thing is that I do it so slow and mostly not in the order above. I then eat sometimes if I find the time and then finally after having been screamed at by my mother I finally get my ass out of the door.
This is a SERIOUS problem which has really affected my whole life and where I currently am. I will not go into what-ifs but I can assume from the little experiment that I did that I would not be where I am right now had I prepared a morning routine which was both time-efficient and effective.
However this is a new year and I will be another cliche and say my resolution for this year is to drastically improve the weak areas, currently all areas lol. Ranging from social life, health and finances. I am committed to leading a healthy lifestyle in terms of my diet, my workout regimen and my sleeping patterns. I am committed to becoming a more social person and also to improving my sex-life (No more porn!!!! unless for educational purposes lol). I am committed to getting a job which provides me with a suitable income to support my other interests and also provides me with a challenge on a continual basis.
The areas I will first handle are my social life and finances. I will maintain a steady workout regimen and a clean diet until I can find a job that will provide me with the capital to join a gym.
I am also joining a muay thai and jiu jitsu class. Luckily there is a fellow from the LSS who provides free jiu jitsu classes which will give me a taster. I am joining London Muay Thai by the end of this month. I also intend on gaining my undergraduate degree by may. I am also acquiring my driver's license before february and intend on gaining enough capital to get a car by May. I will move out of my mother's house by the end of February.
These are some initial goals which I will focus on for the meanwhile until I can get a steady routine established. I will then improve more areas.
This will be : THE BEST YEAR OF MY LIFE.
I am improving most of the areas of my life which most people have already sussed out and hopefully I can focus on bigger dreams once those are dealt with. My intention is to become a Hollywood actor and will hopefully implement a routine in order to gain that dream. I must get there without fail. I have contemplated whether or not to do this but then again hesitation is for the meek. I must be ballsy in order to achieve this dream.
It will take time and an incredible amount of grinding as I have been for a large amount of time a very introverted socially inept dude. However by the end of this year I shall join the theater and hopefully hone my craft. The reason why I wish to act is due to the symbolism of it. I wish to be an inspiration to others that anything truly is possible. I wish to be taken as a serious actor in terms of my range and versatility ala Johnny Depp or Brad Pitt. I do not want to be confined to a box. I will continually evolve.
The reason why I wish to partake in this dream is that I feel and know that I am destined for GREAT things. I will not settle for mediocrity as I am far too ambitious for that. I have one go at this merry go round and intend on making it the best fucking life I can possibly lead. I have continually given up on things my whole life and do not intend on doing so from now onwards.
I have changed my innergame and feel more at peace with myself. However I have much to do still and will continue until my dying breath.
This is the time for change.
Arriverderci
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